.png)
Shine On Success
Welcome to "Shine On Success," the podcast dedicated to exploring the journeys, challenges, and triumphs of today's entrepreneurs. Each episode from your host, Dionne Malush is crafted to inspire, educate, and empower you, whether you're just starting out or are a seasoned business owner.
Shine On Success
Finding Light in the Darkest Times: A Father’s Story of Love, Resilience and Hope
In this heartfelt episode, Chris discusses Christian's mantra, "What's good about today?" and how it inspired their family to find beauty even in dark times. He talks about the emotional journey of dealing with Christian's rare cancer, the strength needed to support his son, and the lessons learned from Christian's resilience.
Chris also shares personal stories about grief, balancing a demanding career, and the importance of letting go and focusing on what matters. His insights on pushing through adversity, staying motivated, and the power of love and family will resonate deeply with listeners.
Tune in to hear Chris Cochran's inspiring story, learn about his upcoming book, and discover how he honors his son's legacy by spreading positivity and hope. Connect with Chris at info@chriscochranspeaks.com or call 412-496-2080. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode to inspire others facing adversity.
Connect with Dionne Malush
- Instagram: @dionnerealtyonepgh
- LinkedIN: /in/dionnemalush
- Website: www.dionnemalush.com
- Facebook: /dmalush
- LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/dionnemalush
Have you ever faced a challenge that fundamentally changed your outlook on life? Welcome to Shine on Success. I'm your host, dionne Malish, and today we have a truly inspiring guest whose journey is a testament to resilience and positivity. Let's dive into Chris Cochran's story and uncover the lessons he's learned along the way. Hi, chris, it's so nice to have you on the show today. How are you doing?
Speaker 2:I'm doing well, dionne. Thank you very much. It's a pleasure to be here with you today, and I was looking forward to talking to you, so it's fun. This is what I say. This is what's good about today is I get to be with you here, right?
Speaker 1:now. I love that and this is my most important meeting of the day too, so I love that and getting to know new people as we grow and you know people in our city. It's just awesome. So I had someone last week from Australia. So it's been. I've been doing pretty cool all over the world, but I want to get to know some more Pittsburgh people and to see if they speak Pittsburghese by chance.
Speaker 2:I'll do my best. If you want me to do, throw some of those in.
Speaker 1:I'll try yeah. I only know Yin so we'll see what are Yin's doing tonight. Either it's soda or pop or I don't know so many good ones. So let's just start. You know, start at the beginning. What's good about today is deeply inspired by your son Christian's courageous battle with cancer. Could you share with us how Christian's perspective on life has influenced your own journey and the message you aim to convey through your book?
Speaker 2:Sure has influenced your own journey and the message you aim to convey through your book? Sure, so I think you have to go back to really when my wife and I and our high school sweethearts, we really you know a picture perfect scenario, you know picture perfect family. We had beautiful wedding, beautiful honeymoon, everything was perfect and we knew our first child was going to be Christian. We knew he was going to be special. I always said to my son, even when he was little and as a teenager, when I grew up, I want to be just like you because he was absolutely an extraordinary individual. I have two other children who are amazing as well. Christian possessed this amazing ability to just seek kindness and be able to see the good in everything. And our journey, like many families, you know, was going along perfectly well and it hit us like tidal wave. It was during COVID. You know Christian had just graduated from college. He had graduated with honors, he's in the honors college and he was set in sail.
Speaker 2:You know young adults are different than you know. Not every bit of cancer is wrong at every point, but young adults in specific. You know this is a boy who was ready to take on the world and he was. And you know life comes sort of crashing down on all the family when you know you're hit with this kind of diagnosis and it wasn't. We knew with Christian in particular. He was given terminal sentence. So this wasn't something that we felt, you know. Certainly we worked hard. We knew our chances were about less than 1% chance with what he had. He had something called cholangiocarcinoma. You know, when this was told to me I had no idea what that even meant. I didn't know. You know what is this thing? It's a very rare cancer. It's mostly seen in Asian parts of the world. You know it's seen in older people. It's not seen in young kids. And here we are in suburbia, pittsburgh, and my 20-year-old kid gets hit with this.
Speaker 2:And you know you go through that process and I can tell you I talk about this in my book when we were given that sentence, christian and I were alone with the doctors at Hillman Cancer Institute. I won't take you through the process of leading up to that, but when they delivered that news I witnessed something that was truly extraordinary, certainly as a parent and I'm sure parents who listen to this can realize are everything to you. They are everything you want them to be and everything you aspire your life to be. That moment, when they said Christian had this cancer and it was terminal, I was shaken and I certainly I think I've started to fade out. But my son put his hand on me, he looked at me straight in the eye and he said did you know, dad? It's all going to be okay, I'm going to be okay.
Speaker 2:And he never changed that philosophy. All the way through his diagnosis and treatments he remained positive, he remained upbeat, he never complained one time. He would often say what's good about today? And it was a daily reminder to myself, to my wife, his siblings, that no matter how difficult your day can be and there are many difficult days for lots of people that you can look for the beauty in each and every single day, and that's what Christian really set out to do was to tell us. You know, mom and dad, yeah, it's bad, but you know what? Look how beautiful this is, look how beautiful the sunshine is, look how beautiful us being together watching a movie is. It's the simplest acts that, if we can really transform our minds, it really can transform you as a human being and how you interact with others, and so that's what I'm wanting to do on behalf of Christian. That's why I wrote this book. It was a difficult journey.
Speaker 1:Was he sick, Like really sick prior to like? How did you can you share that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's. It's a good message. You know, christian, about six months prior to being diagnosed, had had back pain and we treated it like a lot of parents. He was home with us. He went and got physical therapy. He, you know, he's a very healthy looking kid. I mean, he's a good looking boy. He had lost some weight.
Speaker 2:Christian was an actor and he was already scheduled to go to LA. He was on that path and he had a gift he was the. You know, I brag on my son all the time. I can hear him right now telling me dad, stop, stop, stop, cause he's sure. But I love to talk about him and he was the lead in all the musicals at Pine Richland. He was the lead in the plays. He's been in movies. He's done different shows, but that's just surface level stuff. He was truly everybody and humble.
Speaker 2:We decided to go. It got too much and after a while we went and got a blood test. Blood test showed there were some abnormalities, went and got a CT scan. Ct scan showed a scar which I thought okay, scar, that's good. Nothing worked through that. But then they said go to Hillman and Christian had a grapefruit size tumor. It was stage four, in this particular cancer you don't notice until it's too late. It's one of those cancers where just it hits you like a ton of bricks and it just happened and I don't know. You know in cholangio, had it been stage two or stage three, that it would have made because it's inoperable.
Speaker 1:There's nothing you can do that it would have made, because it's inoperable.
Speaker 2:There's nothing you can do. I've never heard of this type of cancer, that there's just nothing. Yeah Well, it's bio-duck cancer. So your bio-ducks are connected to your liver and the bio-ducks are. You know, when you're filtering out through your liver, the bio-ducks are, they're ciphering all the bad stuff out, but it goes into your lymph nodes. It spreads very quickly. So it's a type of disease that once you get it, it's very tough to eradicate because it just it spreads to the body so quickly.
Speaker 2:And, you know, interestingly enough it affects young people much worse than older people. And I have lost friends, you know, you get this tight community of the cholangiocarcinoma world and they live maybe five to six years, but young people can only live most of the time at six months. But we worked really hard to keep Christian around. We tried some of the most cutting edge technology T-cell therapies that are on the market that no one's. You know it's very sort of state of the art and Christian used to love to do it because he felt like it was very Star Trek like and he, you know, he made a way of making it, all you know, fun. But that's it is unusual disease for sure.
Speaker 1:It's so sad to hear. And I know my dad recently passed away and so three years prior to him being sick, we went to the hospital and they said that he had a collapsed lung and they said you have to get it checked. You know, go get it checked and I remember the doctors talking and I remember saying to them you know, I hope it's nothing really bad and you know he would not be the person that could hear that, like he not know that and so kind of went away. You know he saw the back pain and he went back and you know he was still smoking a pipe and doing his thing.
Speaker 1:So our assumption was that his you know, his lung had not had come back and everything was fine it took about three years well, about two and a half years he really was losing weight and not not able to eat as much, and so we had no, no idea. So, finally, so we went there in beginning of September and my mom called and my dad wanted to talk to all of us. So the next morning my sisters and I brought a flight to travel to them, which was 600 miles away, and we got there and the first thing he says is please don't make me eat, I just can't eat anymore. I can't eat anymore. So it was really difficult because we had no idea, like we had no idea what to do or how, what to how to help him.
Speaker 1:We were sleeping on concrete floors because they lived in a in myrtle beach where they didn't have basements, so like we were like laying on the floors and just trying to stay there helping him for 12 days. Finally he said I'm ready to go to the uh, ready to go to the call the ambulance, and I'm ready to go. We got there. A couple hours later they told us that he had a massive tumor on his lung and that had been pushing on his esophagus. So my assumption, which is not doing much more than that he also had aortic aneurysm. That was the largest one they'd ever seen, but we knew he had that for 27 years, so he'd had it for a long time.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:He had really bad back pain. I think cancer was throughout his body, but they throughout his body, but they didn't go any further because they're like this is you know? He's just in really bad shape After he found out. He died the next day. So he lived this rest of his life.
Speaker 1:Now wasn't great last three years, but he laughed, he did things. He didn't have that worry every day. So, like at this point in my life to hear your story, it just means a lot to me to have this conversation with you, because your son was so young and had so much more to live and for me, like my dad, was a part of my life every single day. I just turned 56 last week and to not have him on my birthday for the first time was really hard. So I think one thing I wanted to talk to you about today was about the first, the first birthday, you know, the first Christmas, the first for you and your wife and your family. It had to be so difficult because for me I'm a basket case over it, like I cried my eyes out and I sat there and watched little videos and listened to a little of his voice, thinking I'm never going to hear him say happy birthday to me again, you know so can you talk a little bit?
Speaker 1:about the first.
Speaker 2:So, Dion, thank you for sharing that personal story with me. I losing a parent is difficult. I've lost my parents too, and you know that's tough in the way that you laid it out there, but it sounds like you're very close, Very close. Yeah, the first Well, this is going to sound really crazy maybe to people out there, and I'm sure people who have lost children will understand what I'm saying. The first is really no different than the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth. Losing a child it's like, you know, when you had super glue on your fingers and you just can't get it off. It just feels like that's what this feels like all the time. It doesn't go away. You may have moments where you have a lapse, where you think life is really kind of the normal way.
Speaker 1:Life is and.
Speaker 2:I think that's the way with all humans, right, we get busy with lots of things and we focus and that keeps our attention away. But yeah, certainly for us, and you've heard that a million times probably grief is different for every person. But I think the first year we were so numb and we were so not really, I couldn't even tell you what happened the first year. I don't even remember it. It's such a blank part of my life. Forget the year after, the year of just trying to save your son's life. It was difficult. Losing them became a whole nother set of challenges as a family, right, our firstborn, his mother and I, you know, just get into all that. But you know it's the first are difficult. The second was, I think, more difficult. This past year was even more difficult. It just you're like, why doesn't this get better?
Speaker 2:People have said you know it's like a knife right Sharpened at the beginning and over time it gets dull and dull, but that there's some truth to that. You know, like anything, when you lose someone special, you lose something very tight to you. It just hurts because it's a gap in your heart. Your heart's gone and you, you're right, you don't hear that voice anymore. You don't. You probably have the same clothes around with us. My son's room is exactly the same way it was when he left us. He was with us in our house. He passed away in our house. We want to make sure that happened, did not want him not to have that opportunity with us surrounding him In our life. Christian lived a perfect life and he died a perfect life in a way. So. But I think for a lot of families you know grieving those first, or it is tough. You just got to bond together and know that one day you're going to see one another again, and that's my hope. That's what I work on every day to get there. That's my goal.
Speaker 1:I can't even imagine. I don't have kids, so I don't imagine what it feels like to have a child. But I do feel that I've poured that same love into my parents and probably he said to me one time he goes, I honestly think you love us too much. He knew as he was getting sicker and he knew how much it was going to hurt.
Speaker 1:And you know he didn't really prepare me for it, but he kept saying these little things before. He used to say, oh, I'm going to live forever, like I have so much I want to do this. And then it started to shift and he started saying things and I actually kept a little dad said in my phone little notes for the last few years of some little things that he said to me that I knew were like indicators. But as much as I knew that he was sicker and he was getting sicker, like I just didn't think he was gonna die, like I kept thinking something's gonna change, it's gonna work, and I'm sure you had the same hopes.
Speaker 1:Death is so hard and grief I've had a lot of grief in my life. I've lost a lot of people. I've never felt pain like this before and I'm sure you're the same. It's so how do we push through? So you know, I get up every day. I fill myself with so much to do that I don't have time to think. Nine months, you know. So I'm filling myself up, filling up people like why are you doing all this stuff? Why are you going here and doing this? I'm just trying to not have that thinking time and I know the firsts and the seconds, and the further you get away from it. My fear is that I'm going to forget the little phrase.
Speaker 2:Sure, absolutely. That's exactly a logical feeling. I feel the same way. I think a lot of. I think that's a very natural way. Everybody feels right. You feel guilty that if I go and don't think about it, that you know somehow that's going to be forgotten. And the truth is that's not true. Your dad is always going to be with you at all. I know that's so hyperbole you hear that from people but I think I feel like I'm a real professional around this. You know I've had to deal with so much pain and challenges. You know I say a quote in my book which is don't pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. And that's not by me, that's. Bruce Lee actually said that.
Speaker 2:And I remember that because, it's true, life is a very difficult for everybody, but, like you said, getting up every day, filling up your bucket every day, it's a wonderful way to kind of in the way your dad probably want you to do, which is keep busy and achieve great things and to continue to make the most of your day, make the most of what's good about today, and that's what you're doing so it's the greatest.
Speaker 1:I love that. What's good about today? I love that. It's incredible that he said that. So he left this. You know such a gift. So let's talk about your career. So you have three decades in leadership roles across industries, correct? And how did you push through that during the difficult times? And how are you doing now? So tell us a little bit about that, what you're doing professionally.
Speaker 2:So I started my career as a yellow page salesman. It's one of the greatest gigs. Well, I wouldn't say it was the greatest gig. I had a $12,500 salary. The rest was commissioned. I got out of college and someone said go sell Yellow Pages. So actually it was worse than the Yellow Pages. I worked for Donnelly Directory, so we weren't even the Yellow Pages, we were like the substandard Yellow Pages. So I was a door-to-door salesman back in the day when you could do that kind of thing, selling ads to new companies.
Speaker 2:I've always had that passion to sell, the passion to meet people, passion to build relationships and to forge kind of ahead on different things and be successful. I mean, in my mind I've always had that tremendous fear of failure. My father was a frogman in the Navy SEALs or before Navy SEALs. They were called frogmen back in the Korean War. So I have four other brothers. We all wrestled. You know you can imagine that house, my poor mother and you know I eventually started to work in corporate America.
Speaker 2:After that took on roles, worked in IT for big companies, worked for Hewlett Packard, eds. I've worked for a company called Massac Igate. It was a local company in Pittsburgh but grew to be a very big company running global sales, and eventually I just decided to start my own thing and take that chance and it was a tough decision at the time. I think that's always a tough decision for any entrepreneur that you know, what am I going to do? I have three kids, I got a house. How am I going to pay for all this stuff? And but that's the biggest, you know, I knew I could be successful. I just had to work hard and that that was the key and work smart and that's how I built my career. So I built an IT company called Blue Chip Solutions. I am the CEO of that company. I also, you know, help with other IT companies and I sit on the board for a cancer research company, a biotech company called Coeptis Therapeutics. We. That is really cutting edge right now. I sit on the board as chairman for them and really that's all about advanced cancer therapies and the snap cart T therapies things that are. You know what I think is pushing the line on trying to solve these problems in cancer and I think we're getting there we are. You know, a lot of that requires a lot of money to develop these therapies, get them past phase one trials, but ultimately, you know, that's part of my other passion. I have a good friend who's the CEO and knows Christian's story, and so I've just kind of built my career that way Now, when Christian got sick, I have great clients that are very understanding and I will tell you I don't think I was a particularly great businessman during those times.
Speaker 2:My business was saving my son's life. That's all that mattered to me, 24-7. It was a 24-7 operation. There were other people that helped me family and that's all we did. I don't think I recall doing anything other than I turned a lot of the things over on the business side to people because I was all in to save my son and take him every to the best places around the United States to solve this problem any way we could. And we did a lot of good and I think we did solve some things for others, I'm sure. So where I am today, I'm back at it. I'm busy as ever, and work is pretty good. So I stay pretty steady with the work I'm doing.
Speaker 1:So what kind of advice can you give to leaders, aspiring leaders, that go through adversity? Because there is another side of it. A lot of people can't get through that. So how do you and I you know I'm pushing through it right now. How do you push through it to the other side of adversity?
Speaker 2:Well, I'll tell you one thing, that it's one thing. It's not a bunch of things and it's not a bunch of hoopla. Well, listen, I'm a religious person, you know I'm a Catholic, but I realize I'm not in control. You're not in control, none of us are in control, and I think, once you sort of let that out of your system, that I really can't control my circumstance. I mean, I work hard, I'm going to try to do the best, but until you let that go, even as a business person, I think some of the best decisions I'm making in business are actually happening now, simply because I'm letting things go right. I am going to let, I'm not going to let the little things drive me down. I haven't had the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. There's nothing worse than what I've gone through.
Speaker 2:I know that it's impossible to witness what I've witnessed. I've witnessed it firsthand to see a beautiful, beautiful. I witnessed my son being born. I witnessed my son was right there when he passed away. I witnessed it. All Right, and I think that once I let that flow out of me, nothing else can affect me.
Speaker 2:So I think, as a business owner, an entrepreneur, someone's taking chances, someone's taking risks when you push ahead. I think it's just a matter of letting yourself be who you are, do the best. You can look back on what you're doing and give yourself some compliments, realize that things you know, you got through today, did a good job, and you wake up and you go back at it again. I'm not a distant thinker anymore. I used to be one of those guys who was like what are we doing next? I've met people who and they go Chris, I don't even know who you are. I remember you years ago. I'm not that guy anymore. I don't even know who that guy was. So I think it's. I think, once we get past all that and realize like, hey, you're not really in control, you just gotta, you know, do the best you can. We're not here very long, so let's, let's do the best you can and at the end of, how do I help people and do good works?
Speaker 1:It's funny because I don't even look at my calendar ahead of time anymore.
Speaker 2:Like it is like I have stuff today. I have it. I know I have work to do, but I'm not going to sit there last night and worry about what tomorrow brings.
Speaker 1:So I'm getting better, and this is the second time today someone has said let go to me in a call, just in this less than eight hour day so far. And this less than eight hour day so far, and you know, so that's great advice for me as well, so thank you for sharing that. So, let's just talk about something interesting about yourself that most people wouldn't know. Can you share that?
Speaker 2:Something interesting about that, you don't know. Hmm, well, I love to travel. Well, people probably know I travel. I do travel with my wife. We tend to go on excursions that are outside the norm, meaning we go to European. You know, we don't go to normal European sites. We like to go to little towns in Prague, or I mean in the Czech Republic, certainly go to Prague. We go to towns, little towns, in Austria. We'll go to little areas where we want to meet the culture, understand the culture, understand the world. So that's probably something I Interesting, but I like, if I got that opportunity, I will do that.
Speaker 2:Other than that, it is truly I am a family guy. I love my kids, I love my wife, I love, I just like being with them and you know, like how you like being with your dad. Right, you said something earlier that struck me and it's true. It's like how do you love someone? Cause, when you love someone so deeply, when you have such deep love, it hurts, so much. Love hurts because you know, I know, I know, you know this there are people who don't take care of their parents, they don't take care of their kids, or they don't care about their kids, they don't care what their kids are doing? They don't. And there's a part of me gosh. If I was like that, I'd probably be less sensitive, I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't. But you know what I love loving my family so much and that's why it hurts. That's why you, when you love so deeply, you feel the pain much differently than others.
Speaker 1:It's your soul.
Speaker 2:It's in your soul.
Speaker 1:One thing we always used to say you know, I love you and he'd say I love you more, I'd say there's no way he goes. Yes, there is a way. And I said, dad, I've loved you for every moment of my life For 19 years. You didn't even know me.
Speaker 1:And then Hickson he couldn't come back at me with that one, because literally you know when you love your parents from the moment that you see them. So you know. So my parents were great. We've had a fantastic relationship. I have two wonderful sisters. But I had a brother who passed away when he was a few days old and I said in my father's day note to him, you know, hopefully this is his first father's day with his son and you know he never had to have that. So I'm sure my brother is super happy in heaven that he got to be with my dad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I look forward to that as well. You know I'm not looking for, I don't want to go cause.
Speaker 1:I want to be here for my kid. You're not as scared, right? You're not as scared.
Speaker 2:I'm still not scared. I'm so ready. I'm ready every day, and it could be today. It could seem you are, and, and that's okay, I don't have those problems. You said I love you more, you'll see, I have my arm, says I don't have to turn my arm this way it's pretty.
Speaker 1:That's really nice to have you.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's really cool more, and because that's my son's last words to me I love you more. So I can relate to that. I love you more all the time, my close friend. Uh, that's what we say to each other all the time. I love you more.
Speaker 1:So in the last day of my dad's life we started playing some music for him and we played that amazing song Daughters by John Mayer. And then we played another song that was him and my mom's favorite song and I swear by boys to men and he literally took his last three breaths during that song.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:I don't know how it happened that way. I don't know. Can you listen to those songs anymore? Yes, I've listened to one so far and it was that I'm just bald, but I do have a video of them dancing to that song, so I have watched that a couple of times. So it's kind of cool.
Speaker 2:I don't have a lot of videos. That's one of my big regrets.
Speaker 1:So everybody listening. You have a cell phone. Take videos. They're just little ones. Just take the little ones because they mean so much. Birthdays when you're singing happy birthday, take the videos, put a little notes file in your phone and write down things that you want to remember, because your mind gets filled with so much you don't want to forget. And I have to tell you if it wasn't for those little teeny videos and I don't have a lot because I didn't think that way until it was too late, but I have enough to help me get through the bad days so you know.
Speaker 2:Well, you know that's good advice. People should they're going to kill me if people hear this Stop taking so many pictures, like 100 pictures of the cat, just you know. Take pictures of videos of your family. You can't take that stuff with you, but anyway, you know there's, there's, you're right about that. Take, take it out and video it.
Speaker 1:So, as much as I don ago, it's been a great experience getting to know you and I hope that we'll connect and keep connecting your journey and the profound impact of what's good about today For our listeners that want to connect with you or learn more about your work. How can they reach out to you?
Speaker 2:Sure Thanks, dionne. Again, thank you for the opportunity to be on your program podcast. It's a wonderful opportunity. Those who would like to reach out to me now I mentioned my book will be hitting the market August 22nd of this year. Pre-sales are going up already. I think I told you there's always you got to go through some jump through some hoops, but the print stuff will be up and that's all going to be in all the bookstores. So that should be up and good to go and I'll be doing. I think you know over the course of August there's book signings but honestly I don't know any of those right now. There's someone that's doing that but to get a hold of me, it's info at chriscochranspeakscom and you can reach me on my phone if you want to talk 412-496-2080.
Speaker 1:That's very nice of you to share, and so remember everyone, like, subscribe and share, shine on Success with anyone you know who is going through adversity. If we can help just one person, this podcast is a success. So thanks again, chris. I will see you soon.
Speaker 2:Wonderful Thanks, Dionne.
